(Read time <5 mins)
Hey,
As we come to end of the year, maybe you might be thinking of some resolutions. Might I suggest, ‘Being more comfortable with your own company’? It’s a great way to get know yourself, and sadly we are not always guaranteed to be surrounded by people all the time. So, it’s good to have this capability for when it happens, whether it’s everyone having plans one weekend and you don’t, or you needing time to yourself - being able to enjoy your own company has benefits.
So, here are the gradual steps I took, to start enjoying solo ventures (as someone who had to learn how to enjoy her own company, before being able to make friends)
Solo hiking is always good for the soul and mind
5 steps to enjoying solo ventures
Start small - A couple hours of the day or a day trip.
(Easier modification, take some headphones so you can listen to something other than your thoughts, and slowly start increasing the amount of time without the headphones)
This could be hiking, sitting in a coffee shop reading a book, or just walking around in your neighbourhood. The idea is to get yourself used to being seen alone (because we all feel like people are staring, but they really aren’t, and if they are, give them a good view to look at🤣)
Go to your favourite walk-in establishments for food.
Maybe a Wetherspoons or a Subway, and order some food and sit at a table and eat it. (You can do it with headphones at first and gradually increase the time intervals of not wearing them).
Book a table, AND dress up to the 9’s for it. (My favourite) 🍽️
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure people stare at my gorgeous outfit rather than the fact that I’m sitting and enjoying my meal alone. And that’s the beauty of dressing up. Divert their attention. Make them like your suit or your make up, and you can focus on that tasty meal (and eat it undisturbed).When you’re feeling brave, combine all 3 🛌🏾
Book a hotel stay somewhere else and combine all three in a different location. None of these people will know you or ever see you again, so why not do it?
THIS IS SOLO TRAVELLING!! YOU DID IT🤩
The ultimate one - book the flight. ✈️
All of the above in a different country, and my friend you have solo travelled internationally.👏🏾
It took me 2 years of doing steps 1 and 2 before I even tried step 3. So don’t rush or pressure yourself. It takes time and that’s the beauty of it. I do get asked how I am able to do these things alone, and I repeat these steps that I took, because they really helped me rationalise my fear.
The main thing about adulting is that we have to do things scared sometimes. We don’t always have 100 % confidence in what we are doing, and that’s ok. I was so scared on my first few solo dinners. Let alone travelling to a different city or country to experience it solo. But each one has built my resilience to enjoying my own company, and not holding myself back just because other company isn’t available.
Don’t get me wrong, I do still opt to do things with friends or do things to make new friends. But there are times that call for a solo venture, and it doesn’t phase me as much as it used to. Plus figuring out how to enjoy your own company (and thoughts) is a really good way of gauging your mental health. Because no one will ever know you better than yourself, and you need to take the time to get to know you. 😊
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great week.
Speak soon,
Rue
Adulting For Life
