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I have been on a self-help journey since 2022. I’ll admit, my drive to really work on it now, is not as hard as it was back then. But I have been using the tools and lessons and learnt form my very motivated past, to just keep me in a steady state these last few years.
Until now…
I was recommended a book, by someone from work “The Chimp paradox”. I am still reading it, and I am starting to question - Is there such a thing as too many self help books?
Dr Steve Peters has done an amazing job to summarise and explain his PhD level knowledge, in a way that my non-PhD brain can read, interpret and understand. But I feel like what he has described for me to do, is what I actually have been doing since starting my self-help journey. And what he calls “Your inner Chimp” is what I have been calling “My inner child”. What he calls “managing your chimp” is what I call “rationalising my thoughts before reacting”.
So, I have come to the other side of the summit of self-help, where I don’t feel like I am learning new ways to evaluate myself, character and behaviours, but actually getting affirmed, that what I am doing is my best. And that quite frankly, the people I am dealing with are so inept and haven’t even breathed the air around a self-help book, that not only does it infuriate me at their incompetence, but that I have to apply the work from the self-help book, to react calmly and level-headedly, so then I am not perceived as aggressive, sassy and rude. (yet I am seen as being unreasonable when I bring up my own boundaries)
Any who for anyone not interesting in reading it, here is what I have so far:
Your emotional brain (the chimp/inner child) will receive information first, and react faster than your rational self if you don’t take the time, to ensure you have good tools (coping mechanisms) to respond to different stimuli around you
You can’t control or get rid of the chimp/inner child, you can only manage it - so if you choose to ignore it now, then people will still think your a pain in the future
You can change your personality (though I am still waiting to reach the chapters as to how one does that)
If you can’t rationalise getting on with someone in the world, that’s fine, it’s ok to just remove them from your life, or remove yourself from them
I wonder if my take aways will change when I finish the book? Only time will tell.
Weekly reflection:
You always have a choice. What you actually need to be thinking about, is which decision is worth the risk taking. Be realistic about whether you have the strength to deal with that risk if it happens right now ~ My brain
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great weeked.
Speak soon,
Rue
Adulting For Life
